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July 7, 2008
Took off for London today on my way to Avignon for the OFF Festival. I upgraded to World Traveler Plus on British Airways... nice. I sat next to a woman named Bella who is originally from Belgium but lives in Los Angeles. She and her husband founded the Santa Monica Playhouse in the 1960's! "We were the first to do Ionesco... everyone was there." She told me a funny story about people dressed in minks being there in the summer when the air conditioning went out. "They were dripping makeup..." I would have never made it to the airport without my sister helping me pack! Thanks, Ariel!
July 8, 2008
Arrived in London at 11:00 AM. Exchanged some US dollars for British pounds and wept. Took the Heathrow Express to Paddington Station where I met the cutest little bear. I walked with my luggage to the nearby Ashley Hotel and booked a room. I was lost going to my room and asked a maid, "is this room 208?" She sputtered, "Sorry, no english," but with an unfamiliar and adorable French accent. I asked her where she was from and she understood enough to say "France." "Je cherche salle 208," I said. She lit up. "Vous parlez francais!" Well, hope so, for Avignon's sake. Oh, she was possibly the most beauriful French maid I have ever seen without a French Maid outfit... not that I saw her without her outfit.. you know what I mean! I slept all day to make up for the 80 hours at work last week.
I met up with Jason Kavan (aka Gareth) for some Chinese food. We came up with some great comedy bits which we decided to share. We were going to meet at the Ritz Hotel but with my beard and his Middle Eastern looks, we were too suspicious! I swear hotel security was watching me!
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July 9, 2008
Had English breakfast at Ashley Hotel. Spoke Spanish and Russian to waitstaff. How fun!
Lugged my bags to Paddington and took the tube to Baker Street, changed for the Jubilee line and took that south to Canning Town where I finally changed to the DLR (Dockland's Light Rail) to get the train to London City Airport. Checked in at Air France using the little machine. Checked my bag and had to pay because it was heavy. I joked, in French, because the counter people were FRENCH Air france people, and said, "Combien en plus pour moi?" which, even if you don't know French must be hysterical. Another British dude was arguing because they wanted to charge him more and I whispered "Calmez-vous, dude." and the counter agent laughed, touched my arm AND flipped her hair back... and we all know what that means! Flight to Paris was uneventful but waiting for the flight to Avignon, an older brother was punching his younger brother playfully but not so gently. "Ai! Ai!" said the younger brother. In french, I told them the story of how I used to do that until my baby brother got bigger than me and now I am afraid of him. My tale of hope for the younger brother backfired when the older brother asked, "How old were you when he got bigger?" I told him 15. He said, "Bon, j'ai encore trois ans!" which basically means he has three years of torturing his little brother left. Later, the brothers were separated on the plane and the younger brother called the stewardess over. He did not want to sit with his older brother BUT he did want to share the little Coke bottle candies he had brought. So he dutifully divided them up and when he discovered he had an odd number, he did the most amazing thing... he divided the odd candy up in two equal pieces and added it to his brother's share. I don't know if it was fear or love but it was darned cute!
I sat next to a French woman named Latifah who apparently works in payroll for Air France. She and I talked about politics and Blue Tooth technology; which I am now calling "Les Dents Bleus" although that means nothing in either english nor in french come to think of it. She gave me her number and I gave her my card. She said she'd take her friends to my show.
When we landed, I met Mme Loret (Sylvia) who not only gave me a ride to the apartment; she also gave a ride to my flightmate Latifah! Latifah is camping near the Pont D'Avignon.
After a tour of Avignon, which is AMAZING, I signed papers with Mme Loret and she left. I asked her what she did and she told me that she was ashamed to tell me that she was an English teacher! She did not speak any English to me! We talked about how it is hard speak another language because you are not a character (personnage) but you are yourself! C'est vrai!
My neigborhood was rocking until 4AM! I love it! I went on a walk at midnight and found a Greek/Armenian cafe nearby called Taverna Avedis. The owner, M Avedis and I talked for about 15 minutes. When I told him I was part Armenian and that I loved in Los Angeles, he was very happy. "I have family in Glendale!" i always find an Arnenian to feed me! I told hi, I was nervous to see if my show would work and he said, "It will work... the Armenians always make it work!" I feel invincible now!
Just listening to people at the cafe that night made me sound better in french! I improved even since this morning! I walked to the Hotel Mercure Pont D'Avignon where my show will be. It is right near the Palais des Papes... the Palace of the Popes which is the most amazing thing I have seen since Edinburgh Castle! A group of drunk musicians were singing nonsense words to some guitar playing. One of the phrases was "part of this song is in english and some of it is in spanish, if you couldn't guess!" Went back to the apartment and slept... after calling my sister to ask her to help me find renter's insurance! I forgot! Thanks again, Ariel!
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July 10, 2008
Woke up and went to theatre at the hotel. I finally met Shakti and Jorg who run the Garage International venue. She told me I was one of only THREE American groups here and that it was in the paper! Now I am NERVOUS. Must go write!
A bit about Shakti and Jorg. I think they are a great couple... she is super energetic (she's doing four shows I think!) and he is very reserved but friendly. I believe he is the "computer guy" of The Garage International. Shakti also organizes a Fringe in Adelaide, where she lives when she is not gallavanting (how many "L"s in Gallavant?) around the globe from Japan to Australia to Germany... I like them both alot.
Anyway, while I had my sister (the Kingswell Productions assistant extraordinaire) find where I could get apartment renter's insurance, I decided to eat at my new hangout, "Tavernis Avedis." It's a good thing they have a lot to choose from on the menu... and, if I am being honest, the most beautiful waitresses in Avignon! I asked Avedis, the owner, how he did it and he smugly said, "Je n'ai rien fait... elles viennent a moi!" One can hear the cry "Avedis" frequently shouted by the waitresses when they need to get a check for a customer. Avedis himself comes to the table and adds it up. Tried the souvlaki, by the way... miam miam... that's french for yummy!
Apres avoir mange... I mean, after having eaten, I went to the local AXA Assurance agent (the Agence Barra ) to check on one of my sister's insurance finds... it is a few STEPS from my door! It occurred to me that if I had been in LA, I would have driven, but, alors, je suis en france! They did the whole policy in minutes but seemed more interested how an "americain" was doing a "spectacle" (that's "show") in Avignon. The Barra Agency is now officially my guest whenever they wish to see my show. I took the papers home and popped them into the mail box for Mme LORET, my landlord... uh, "landlord" sounds too formal... my host.
I went to the local cyber cafe where they serve homeade pizza and orangina. Miam Miam! After writing the last journal entries, I had a great discussion with the owner, a lovely woman whose teenage son helps her run the shop without much attitude... although some attitude is expected both as a frenchmen and a teenager. She and the rest of France is praying for Obama, in a very secular way, of course. Now that they have Sarkozy, the son of immigrants who wants to stop immigration, they have their own "George Bush" to contend with. Everyone is amazed I am here to do a show... I am in trouble!!!!!!
Slept from 8PM to 4AM... unheard of for moi!
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July 11, 2008
4AM... 14 hours until first show... I am still trying to remember how to conjugate certain verbs!!! What was I thinking? It would be one thing if I were doing a play where the dialogue was exact but I planned for interaction with the audience, improv and witty reparte in my show... Mon Dieu!
With the exception of a two hour nap to avoid working, I wrote and translated and edited for 12 hours straight! By the way, all the walking and not eating much has brought me back to the first belt loop again! 5PM printed the "script" for the show at my cyber cafe. I hope noone shows up today...
So, what do you get when you mix two italians (Mario and Fabrizio) their French pal who looks like a mad conductor with white hair and two Swiss backpackers named Vincent and Virginie? A resounding but fun disaster.
I had my Border Patrol clipboard handy for the entire show. The clipboard holds the "training materials" aka "the script." The two Swiss politely laughed at the theory of every joke. The Italians laughed at how bad I was and the frenchman slept only to awaken at the end to exclaim "Bien fait!" Ahhhh, la Belle France. I guess every country has their David Bevington. I have to rethink this thing... or learn French. Rough choices. The Italians and Frenchman disappeared quickly but the Swiss stayed and talked to me about the show. Vincent was actually complimentary, mostly about how daring I was to even attempt it. "Courage" he said. Don't laugh, Tonilyn, but I believe I have been told "You're so brave!" for the very first time in my stage career.
One thing which must be said is I did not have a breakdown. I kept going and even laughed while the sky fell. "Courage!" What does one do after an experience like this? On boit... trop. In my case drinking is translated into eating... so "On mange... trop."
So, I went, where else? To Taverna Avedis where the most beautiful of all the beautiful women waited on me. Her name is Lola... (she was a show girl etc...) The other women kept smiling at me... Maybe they see how I look at Lola. Maybe it's because I am EASILY the fattest person in all of Avignon. Perhaps I am their personal freak show... or maybe it's my crazy beard; that comes off tomorrow. No, I think they are just generally friendly... maybe they haven't discovered that I am American yet. Tried the "adena" which is like "kefta kebab" I guess. It was GOOD! I also had some Tsatsiki. Miam Miam.
8:30 PM - Walked home and stopped of at the super marche to get a bag of razors, shaving gel and some band aids... just in case! Went to sleep at around 10 PM... doing a lot of walking and I am tired!
3:00 AM - HOLY CRAP! Thunder and lightning like I have not heard or seen in 20 years! Holy... wow, that was LOUD! Being eaten by mosquitos... I must be a real feast for them.
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July 12, 2008
7:00 AM - Woke up and read the newspaper (le journal) to get some local flavor and info.
8:00 AM - Hey, this shirt I bought fits me now! I got it a size smaller; it wouldn't close just a week ago! Vive La France!
9:00 AM - Walked up Rue Carnot the other way (east) to find another French-English dictionary. I dicovered a place called "Librairie Shakespeare" which features English books. The owner had a picture of Shakespeare on the wall with the caption "Our Founder" under it. While he was telling someone about his morning visit to the dentist, during which he yelled at the nurse, I found what I needed and went to check out. I aksed if he needed a source for books and he said he had plenty and told me about his suppliers "who also supply Amazon," he said proudly. he asked why i needed the dictionary and he was surprised I was an American... he said, "Your french is good. Most Americans cannot put the two words together." I was happy to hear that but still not ready for tonight's show.
Next, off to fetch a fan; not an audience member "fan" but "un ventilateur" type fan. Fan bought... now for some fresh croissants...
10:30 AM - Back at the flat, I ate my croissants, enjoyed the air from my new ventilateur and tried to prepare for my show. Rewrite or memorize? Why not do both?! The answer is fast approaching.
5:15 PM - Left the place and headed to my cyber cafe. It's FULL! So I head to my alternate cyber spot down the road and print my new script. When I handed the guy my thumbdrive, he asked me "Vous n'avez pas de virus?" How rude! Doesn't he know how many times an American bathes a day?!
5:40 PM - Maybe nobody will show up and I can write some more. Nope, two folks came in from the terrential downpour that is happening now to see my show... allons y!
7:00 PM - Well, that was better... a better disaster. Not really good yet. I invited my audience of two for a drink to make up for it and surprisingly, they accepted! Natasha does publicity for travel to South Africa, and the guy (Jean-Claude) used to work for Greenpeace but now is working for an arts organisation. They gave me great notes and we had an amazing discussion about the arts and Obama and Sarkozy, who is called President Bling Bling here... (I am totally using that in the show!) and muticulturalism. He explained that the phrase "beure" is the Verlan for the "Maghrebs" or second generation Arabs who work and live in France. Verlan flips the letters of the words so "Arab" becomes "Bara" which becomes "beure". Verlan for "Fou" is "Ouf." Je suis OUF! of course, OUF is how Americans say the French word for eggs... "OEUF"
8:30 PM - 11:00 PM - At the cyber cafe writing all this. Ate some homemade pizza and some greek salad. Miam!
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July 13, 2008
9:00 AM - Awoke to something strange... QUIET! Maybe it's that my windows are closed a bit... no, it's Sunday, and despite not being religious, the partying French are SLEEPING!
I crack open a bottle of Vichy water... (I can't help feel somewhat guilty as if I am aiding the Nazis in some way after the fact!) and start to write. I am putting in some suggestions from Jean-Claude and Natasha, one of which was to correct some grammar! Yes, students of French, the subjonctif IS important! As are the passe compose, the imparfait and the rest of the tenses! Merci beaucoups, M. Nepo!
I have an inordinate amount to do but shall I do instead? Take a nap.
2:00 PM - Note to self, snooze button on phone alarm works well after twenty seven trials...
I don't know why I am not nervous... I am still screwed. Somehow, I think nobody will show up and I can work through the night.
Added sections about Obama and Michael Moore per suggestions of my kind audience. Expanded section about Sarkozy. This is exactly what i love about the Fringe environment... rewriting as result of direct feedback. I know a lot more of the script than I did two days ago! Courage!
5:15 PM - went to my cyber (cafe); the French shorten everything even more than we do! "Cyber" for "cyber cafe", "impo" for "impolite", "idiot" for "americain" (stolen somewhat from Tina fey!) I printed tonight's script like Avedis prints his daily menu.
5:45 PM - the Russians are here! Yes, a troupe of Russian jugglers, singers and dancers is here and I spoke some Russian with them. This trip has taught me that a twenty year absence from a language is detrimental to your knowledge of said language. They understood me and said I spoke well... of course, that was all the Russian I remember! Demi Benton, where are you?!
6:00 PM - Nobody here! Hurrah, I can... wait a minute... who is this harried and hurried couple running in the door? Yep, an audience of two. And these two literally ran across town to catch my show! If you know Avignon, you will understand that this is nearly impossible at festival time. If you know Los angeles, think the 405 at 4PM on Friday. They seem like snobby French and I am afraid they will HATE what I am about to do!
6:15 PM - The newly arrived Russian guy barges into my theatre looking for some costume. I tell him in Russian that I am in the middle of a show and that as such, I must search him. My audience of two loved it. Who is it that said, "Never judge a book by its cover?" I owe that person a drink! These were the greatest people ever. Phillipe and Michelle, I think. They got the whole thing and we even broke into a personal conversation during the show. She asked me, "Are you really for Bush? It is a joke, right?" With such hope in her eyes, how could I disappoint her? She also asked about Obama. I joked in the show that now that the French have Sarkozy, and we have Bush, the French will become more religious... if only to pray for Obama. That was the biggest joke of the night, off the cuff, and en francais!
7:00 PM - I watched the Russian mini-circus... it was fun! They were goofy and Russian and funny.
8:00 PM - On the way back to the "appartement", I bought three small peaches and some orangina. Ate the three peaches and drank some orangina while writing this.
9:30 PM - At my cyber cafe adding this to the website. The owner greets me with "How many" meaning how many in my audience... I didn't have the heart to tell her "two" so I said, "more than I could count!"
Tomorrow will be my 39th birthday and my third birthday in France. Happy Birthday, Jared! Happy belated birthday to Joanna, Beth and Grandma!
ADDENDUM:
Talked with a fellow named Bacher who wants to be a programmer. Showed him some code and he was actually
interested. He and I said the same word three times without knowing it... I said, "VAR-i-ab-le" and he said, "var
-i-AB-le" with just a different stress it was unrecognizable to either of us!
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July 14, 2008
I'm now 39... the owner of the cyber said I should say I am 25. I said "I am 25, for the 15th time!" I decided to go for a long walk and take some pictures but of course, my f*&^in camera is broken! Piece of merde! The photos are too bright! The movie capture works, but not the regular photos. Maybe it will work at night? I bought two disposable cameras to take some snapshots of the Palais des Papes.
Everything here is named for the Palais des Papes (Popes)... The ice cream shop is the "Glacier Des Papes," the clothing store is "The Vetements des Papes," the soccer store is "Football Des Papes," and my favorite, "The Moutardier des Papes" How much mustard can a Pope eat?
So my walk was shorter than I thought. This is not a large city. I can walk the whole length in twenty minutes. I set out for the new world and like Jim Carrey, I literally hit a wall! Vern, you would literally walk across this town in one minute... a New york minute!
So, it's my birthday, I'm in France, so where do I find myself at 3PM? Outside of McDonald's... yep, the bastion of Amercian gluttony. It is a perfect place to hand out flyers. In my Border Patrol getup, they actually think I am security at the place! But, do I dare go inside and try... a Royale with Cheese? The voice of Samuel L Jackson echoes through my head... "Royale with Cheese, Royale with Cheese!" Okay, Sam! I will. I will!
I go to the counter to order and now, I feel like the Pope... a real American in the McDonald's d'Avignon! The counter help scrambles to wait on me and practice their "American" language skills... "I can help you 'here, my buddy,' shouts one. 'Sheriff, come and have my burger!' shouts the girl. The girl would have won but the guy, in true New York fashion, cuts her off.
"Royale with Cheese," say I. Avec frites et un coca. Happy Birthday to me. Okay, it was tasteless! Barely any onions and... well, now I know why we have a bad rep here! Quality Control is out the window! Euro Disney probably doesn't have a Mickey Mouse!
Anyway, I did the deed and had my one McDonald's abroad for this year. It is a well known law in the states that when one travels abroad, it is ones patriotic duty to eat at McDonalds at least once... just to check the standards, of course.
So I decide to go closer to my venue and hand out flyers... I search people's backpacks and accuse people of being terrorists and it is actually fun! More fun than the show because it is schtick. i look up to the roof of the Palais des Papes and tell the shooters to stand down. People look up and then get the joke and laugh. If only my whole show were the security check... maybe it will be by the time I leave!
After handing our flyers for a few hours, I went back to the apartment to get ready for my special birthday dinner. I bought a bottle of wine and showed up a few minutes after 8PM at the summer Palais De Shakti et Jorg.
What an amazing dinner with Shakti and her crew. We spoke broken English, Japanese, French and German... all with Australian accents. They prepared the most delicious chicken I've had in years; tender and well seasoned. She also had potatos and salad and ripe tomatoes... Miam Miam! We drank a lot of wine and beer and did internationally silly tricks with matches and knives and forks... most of which I learned from my father... thanks Dad, you're a hit in Avignon! They especially liked the "Wanna see a match burn twice?" gag and the magic floating napkin. Benon, Shakti's Japanese lighting guy is a dead ringer for Pat Morita! He is a fan of jazz and has worked as a drummer. He loves Duke Ellington and Count Basie. Benon and I did a great rendition of Brubeck's "Take Five" which I am sure would make my Grandpa proud. At around midnight, Shakti and crew started to fad so we broke out the ice cream and made it disappear too. Shakti has been in the same flat for 12 years in Avignon! It is a great place near Place Pie, a very busy part of town near Les Halles, the large theatre. I wish my show were better.... ugh! Anyway, I left Shakti's place with cries of "O Ya Suminasai" and "Au Revoir!"
Next, a stop at Taverna Avedis for a surprise. He said, "You come" and I am going to be there. I arrived and had soem wine and then all the young waitresses brought out an enormous cake and sang "Happy Birthday" in broken English. Lucie, who has waited on me a few times, wants to be in the hotel / restaurant business whilst, Anais wants to be a lawyer. Earlier, I caught Anais (?) dancing like Madonna and brought it up. "Why not become a dancer?" she said that dancing is fun but she wants to do things for people using the law.... 18 years old and saving the world.
Anouche, a friend of Avedis, invited me to her show tomorrow at 10:25 pm. I PROMISED I would be there and so I shall. I talked to Ariel briefly and then to Mom and Dad until bedtime at 4AM.
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Place Des Carmes | July 15, 2008
Slept in until 1PM.
Rewrote some of the show, filling in actual French where I was speaking something else. I geared up and printed my daily script at my cyber... Off to hand out flyers.
WOW! 12 people in the audience! One is a reviewer for sure. I think he is a British ex-pat living in Paris. Just a professional opinion based on all the time I have spent on the border... Well, there were lulls in the show and I think I can cut 10 minutes of hemming and hawing but it was allright. I didn't stay in character very well tonight because the more I try to be understood, the less Texas I become... I am trying to keep my "Oh Well" attitude. In the middle of the show, I said in French, "Even if I am bad, I have your money, so you might as well laugh."
I bought more peaches and limonade and perrier. Ate the peaches and took a nap.
AHHHHH! What time is it? 10:00 PM.... maybe I'll just go to anouche's show tomorrow... 10:15.... NO! I will NOT REVERT TO LOS ANGELES MODE! I SAID I WOULD GO AND I AM GOING! Where the hell am I going?
Okay, okay, I was only 3 minutes late... of course, this is NOT Los Angeles so they started at 10:25PM. I was told later that I didn't miss anything, which was the polite way of saying, "I noticed you were late!"
Anouche's show had singing and dancing and was a sad tale about WWI making clever use of well known french songs of the era. They occasionally brought audience members up onstage to dance and I danced twice! Once with Anouche, who is easily identifiable as the cute girl who is funny, and once with an older actress who was so French, I felt like I had been transported to Avignon of WWI... The same woman read two letters from the front; one hysterically funny about why a loved one is not writing, and the other from a doctor which made me cry. The acting was great. The two guys each sang songs which stole the show. One was a song where the guy goes through a littany of ailments. Sorry, Dad but this guy had you beat! It was FUNNY! I don't know how he breathed! The other song was by the little bald guy who reminded me of the character actor on Sesame street who was short and bald. The actor had a way of starting this one phrase in a timid falsetto which made everyone laugh each and every time!
I congratulated the cast and made a raincheck for a drink because I was tired. At midnight, I went to check some e-mail and then realized, with some reminding from my tummy, that I WAS STARVING!!!! Three baby peaches and some Perrier are not gonna cut it!
1:30 AM - found some steak frites and a salad at the Place des Horlages. There was a french comedian named Peynton someone at the table next to me. He and his friends were talking about Al Pacino and Robert De Niro. One of the most beautiful women on the planet was there and I think I stared... when she saw me, I did a little Robert De Niro impression "You lookin' at me?" and they all laughed, thinking I was engrossed in their conversation. Man I am going girl crazy here!
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July 16, 2008
11:00 AM - Woke up and did some writing. Decided to print only an outline now for the show.
1:00 PM - Went to cyber but it was full! "Je reviens" I say as I go out to hand out some flyers. I handed out flyers for two hours... but it was not as fun as the other day. People were not in the right frame of mind; or... or, I WAS NOT in the right frame of mind.
3:00 PM - Returned to my cyber spot and printed one page. Then, off towards the theatre!
4:00 PM - Today will be the first day to eat BEFORE THE SHOW! Had some Soupe a l'Onion with a REAL FRENCHBREAD CROUTON! Then a mini steakfrites. Drank my Perrier like a good French Border Patrol Agent and went off to the theatre.
5:00 PM - Word must have gotten out about the show or lack thereof... nobody on the books yet... EXCEPT, the manager and staff of the hotel! They think the show must be funny because they see the security bit every day... ooo la la!
6:00 PM - The 5 hotel people come in with high hopes... quel dommage. no, actually it was pretty fun. I only referred to my outline a few times and I stayed in Texas character, which helps mask my French. I wish I had more facility to ad lib! Either I need to change the show and do acrobatics or I need to learn some more French! the good thing, they did teach me how to say some things which I was butchering. Really, every day, I have learned about three or four things which do improve the show. I mean, there were actually places I wrote a joke and everybody laughed! Mon dieu!
7:15 PM - I stayed and watched a French show called "Les Nuits des Papillons" with the most French looking guy I have ever met in person along with yet another most beautiful woman candidate! The show was about love lost. A guy played a guitar as background to most of the action. it was a very French love story where the lovers fall in love quickly and then he has to be carted away to prison and he soul dies as he talks to bugs in the prison to keep from going insane. It was sad and funny and they did some dance as well. my favorite part was when they did a little dance which was in fact, a preview for the action of the next few scenes... almost a "Burn This" kind of thing but without being derivative.
8:00 PM - called work and checked in with Michael and Scott. Poor Michael... Poor Scott... At least the program isn't broken... much!
10:30 PM - going to my cyber to upload all this.
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July 17, 2008
Well, last night after filing my report, I brought the laptop home and then headed out to see Avedis. I thought I might see Anouche and her crew and voila! I ran into them in the street... nobody was hurt. Anouche tried to get me to join them at "le bar" but I wanted to grab something at Taverna Avedis. I told the company how wonderful they were in their show and promised to find them later.
1:00 AM - Last customer at Avedis. It was fun because al the girls and otehr workers were having their end of the day meal. It was like being between shows at "Tony and Tina's Wedding." They had this amazing pasta with garlic and tomatoes and peppers... I had some with my souvlaki.
3:00 AM - Okay, peppers taste good but I feel horrible! sorry to include this but, In the bathroom, I discovered I can make sounds of pain in French. i was thinking about my great distress "en francais!" I have arrived!
SLEPT ALL DAY!!! I feel better and am ready to greet my "public." Unfortunately, I have not handed out any flyers today.
5:30 PM - People are liined up to see me today!!!! I asked how they heard about me and they said, "La Liberation" which is a popular paper here... I guess I got a good review or something!
6:00 PM - On commence la comedie! VERY FUNNY search in the lobby of the hotel today. I do thrive on a big audience. They were really laughing when I asked if there was real water in a bottle I found in someone's bag and to confirm it, I drank the whole bottle. Even I laughed. One girl blurted out that she was a virgin under the pressure of my interrogation. THAT was funny.
7:00 PM - Okay, that show was pretty good. learned a few more words I have been misusing. All in all, it was fun. Shakti and Jorg and the Japanese women from her dance company watched and seemed to enjoy it. I forgot to mention that the Japanese women, who are very polite and proper, actually grab my belly like I am Bodhi Dharma (and not BUDDAH, as Shakti told me)! it is like my Dad calling me "Blubber Man!"
7:15 PM - I marched to the Presse store to check out "La Liberation" and voila, there I am in cartoon form with a blurb about my show. It sure makes it look fun! No wonder I had an audience!
7:30 PM - I marched back to the Hotel mercure to show Shakti and Co. the paper. They were having a little soirée and i met Jean-François (no kidding) from Paris who is a professeur. He said he'll bring his family to my show.
8:00 PM - I showed the paper around at the cyber café (CYBERMEDIA) like a proud parent. The owner said tha the cartoonist added a few pounds... I said, "Pas de problème, il a ajouté le Public aussi!" (No problem, he added an audience too!)
9:00 PM - Got some money and went home to change. Back at the cyber café, I sit and write this. I got an e-mail from Edmund O'Brien that he and Dana and family are moving back to Chicago! It is sad in one way but in another way, I am jealous. Bon Voyage, Edmund et Dana!
OH, I forgot, I was invited to a forumn to discuss "Violence and Beauty" tomorrow but I think it is during my show. I am becoming famous here!
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July 18, 2008
12:30 AM - couldn't sleep. Talked briefly to Ariel in French... that was fun! The noise is beckoning me outdoors so I got dressed again and went for a walk. I walked east on Rue Carnot until I hit the wall at Porte St Lazare. I went outside the wall and then quickly turned around and came back in. It was like my own "petit" illegal immigration. I walked back towards the city center and realized, I must be intimidating even without the Texas Border Patrol gear. Some people crossed the street to avoid me. Hell, I would avoid me by the looks of me! Even though I had some pizza at CyberMedia, I was hungry! I walked along the main drag all the way to "L'Americain" and "The Irish Bar" but decided for something less touristy. I know, Avedis has a little Kebab joint. A few minutes walk and I was there at the Doner Kebab place owned by Avedis.
1:30 AM - Had some doner kebab with salad on the sandwich. NO FRIES! Got to keep my girlish figure! The guys at the counter wanted to know about LA. I don't know how it came up but even these three guys (who reminded me of French Arab Three Stooges in a good way) noticed the beautiful girls working for Avedis at the Taverna! "We have to working here with the nice look [sic] girls is there!" I could not have said it better myself. Doner Kebab was great... Chicken, I think though.
2:40 AM - Sleep.
12:30 PM - Awoke! I must have turned off my alarm at 9:30 AM! Oops. My plan is to see Shakti at 2:30 PM in "Dragon..." something or other. I ate some grapes I bought yesterday and finished off my bottle of Badoit. I have only had two cokes ALL WEEK!
1:30 PM - Bought batteries... 23 EURO!!!! AHHHH! Batteries for a camera that doesn't work right. Must but new camera! Handed out some flyers.
2:30 PM - Saw Shakti's show. Wow. She is an enigma wrapped in a phenom! That means she has more energy and talent than should be allowed in one person! What a great mix of traditional shapes and positions and movements and modern dance. What a great performer! Her mom was in it, if I am not mistaken! Now i am jazzed for my show... must hand out flyers!
3:30 PM - Handed out flyers. Maybe I should have done one week... I have my cartoon in La Liberation! NON! Courage, mon ami!
5:30 PM - After two hours of solid flyering... no audience! Mon dieu! After my great newspaper debut?! Oops, wrong again. ONE person from the press... radio Marseille! Ooo la la. Maxime from the hotel front desk joined us so I would have an audience. Poor Maxime.
7:00 PM - Well, I gave it my all and did the best I could. Surprisingly, the reviewer stayed behind to talk... Maxime fled to work. I talked with Pascal for a good half hour if not longer about Americans and Los Angeles and how much French culture is known in America. He spoke English but I refused! Pascal said he had difficulty understanding english in America because of the slang... I said I did too and I live there! We swapped emails and phone numbers. He even invited me on the radio in Marseille! Talk about turning lemons into lemonade! i told Pascal my jokes I left out of the show about Jacques Prevert and Claude Debussy and Camus... He liked them... I think because it meant that I did know French culture... that seems important to the French who I have met. in fact, when I joke in my show that the Statue of Liberty is uniquely American, you can feel the audience tense up for a second until they realize I know the truth.
8:30 PM - Back at the apartment, I show off the newspaper cartoon to my Reggae Music Store neighbors. Great music blasts from the store below me all day. I me Salim and another friend of his and they laughed when I told them that the cartoonist added some pounds to my caricature.
9:00 PM - I made my way to the Theatre des Vents to see "Jane" a show with a lot of word play. The actress gave me a flyer and I thought, I have to go. And she's darned cute! That goes without saying at this point, I guess. while waiting for the show, I went to LA CURACAMBE, the closest thing to Indian food I have found. The samosas were made with BEEF! Now THAT'S INDIAN! the food was good... not authentic but tasty. I was listening intently to the conversation next to me. What I gathered was that the 19 year old son wanted to go to Los Angeles to work on some music project. The father was coming up with all sorts of reasons why it was abad idea while the mother was playing referee and occasionally adding in her two cents. It is rare that I skip the opportunity to interrupt a conversation and play expert... but I said nothing. The father said that gasoline costs 100 dollars a gallon or something like that and I smirked. The son said, he could walk and I nearkly choked. The father noticed me listening and muttered something... I resisted and said nothing. This was a family matter, after all.
10:15 PM - "Jane... de Vos a Moi" was excellent. It was the word play I wish I could do and more. She was charming and witty and funny and sexy and she sang and ahhhhh. Wow. I am jeaous and in love... I waited like a dork after the show and after her brother congratulated her, I gave my broken French praise. When I said I was from the states, the brother exclaimed "What did i say?!" in French. I asked if it was my accent or enormous belly that gave it away. They laughed... "The belly, yes." No, I am kidding about the last part. Anyway, "Jane", whose mother was English, thus "Jane", said she remembered giving me a flyer because I was dressed like a "Sheriff" I gave her a flyer and then quickly disappeared. What a dork I AM! As I walked aimlessly home (if you keep walking here in Avignon, you ALWAYS end up at home) I heard a voice shouting, "George1 George!" I stopped and saw a familiar face... quick brain... who is this? Audience? Press? Hotel Employee? NO! It is Eric the photographer who handed me a card yesterday! His card said, "AUTOFOCUS" and had his email etc... He and his wife were VERY impressed that I remembered that... and so was I! Anyway, we made a plan for him to come Monday and take publicity photos at the theatre. That should be fun! Even with small audiences, I feel famous in Avignon!
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| Tour Place Pie |
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| Math Geeks Heaven (Pi 3.14) |
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July 19, 2008
SLEPT A LOT AGAIN?! Maybe it's all the walking. My body is telling me SLEEP!
4:45 PM - Made it to the theatre in time to see Shakti's new creatio, "KOJIKI" based on a short story about creation. It featured music my Vangelis and Jarre. It was more dynamic than the piece I saw the other day. I liked it alot. My favorite part was when Shakti was in very formal Japanese dress and devolved into a manic frenzy. Very intense.
6:00 PM - I don't have an audience again! Good I need a break... AH! Here they are. Three people and one is from the press. I feel that this one is going to be hard.
6:45 PM - Yep, I was right. They didn't get the jokes today. I kind of skipped a bit because I sensed they wanted to leave. Of course, they were laughing... but more at the situation than at the material. I really don't know what people are expecting... it ain't Moilere! Actually, I just think that it is easier to laugh when others are laughing. Seeing as how I cannot be in the audience to start the laughter, it is no wonder I am having a hard time!
7:30 PM - Writing down today and yesterday's adventures! All I have had to eat today is Orangina... and that's a drink! I am going to turn into a fizzy orange. I wish I had a scale... I KNOW I have lost at least 15 pounds. Watch out, Flachsbart! Here I come!
8:50 PM - Finally finished writing! Now I remember why I did't have time to do this kind of blog in the past... it takes time away from eating!! Time to eat!
P.S. Tonilyn, I have not seen your boots yet! What size am I looking for? I am going to enlist the help of the Avedis girls...
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July 20, 2008 (Sunday)
Left Cybercafe at Midnight... I downloaded a 30 day trial of Photoshop from Adobe so I could see if it would open the old version 7 files I have... it worked! While I did have a salad at CyberMedia, I am starving... craving some beef... went to Taverna Avedis but they were FULL! Saturday night! I did show the cartoon to Avedis who immediately pointed to my T-Shirt in the cartoon and said "It should say Avedis on the shirt!" Ahh, advertising.
Walked around for awhile and ended up at Cafe des Artistes at the Place de l'Horlage. Had another salad and steak au poivre. Great sauce! Decided to walk around the entire city to walk off the bread. Okay, I made it halfway around the city walls when it became clear that the prostitutes use the different gates as their "point of sale" or whatever they call it in the prostitute trade. These women (?) were VERY DRESSED UP! Almost part of a show! I wish I had brought my broken camera! The walls are truly amazing. I feel like Joan of Arc is burning somewhere near by... not a historically accurate feeling, but a feeling nonetheless.
2:30 AM - Tired. Walked home and noticed CONDOM machines along the main route. Ahhh, l'Amour. Bought a Fanta citron... miam!
Six shows left! Hurrah! Must prepare for Edinburgh!
10:00 AM - Thunder and some rain. Stayed in to work on Edinburgh posters and flyers etc.. while it rained.
2:00 PM - Handed out flyers like crazy! I need some "PUBLIC" as they say.
5:30 PM - Two reservations. Hope that is not all... I prefer ZERO or a HUNDRED.
5:45 PM - This place is filling up! The lobby of the hotel is becoming full of potential audience... yep, they're buying tickets!
6:00 PM - At least 15 people, which is pretty full in the small theatre! GREAT SHOW!!!! HURRAH! A lot of off the cuff remarks and banter. Very appreciative applause tonight. I feel like I am finally getting it right with 5 shows to go!
7:30 PM - on the way abck to the apartment, another of the most beatiful women on the planet asked me for a free invitation to my show... I didn't really get what she wanted at first... I thought she wanted a flyer so I gave her one. Then she said, in French, "But you have changed the subject, Mr. Sheriff, where is my invitation." "OH! okay... I fumbled for my pen..." She looks like an Egyptian French painting come to life. "Voila!" I said. Another episode of dorkage... I should be charged a dorkage fee... get it? No wonder my show is so hard!
8:00 PM - Okay, I need to eat earlier in the day because there is some damned good French smelling garlicy food being cooked outside... MIAM! going to post this and eat!
Oh, tomorrow, I am taking the theatre out to eat at Taverna Avedis! The Japanese, the Australians, the French and even the Russians... When I invited the Russians, the old guy from the troup understood me fine. Their very beautiful, yet VERY SNOBBY tour manager who speaks French and Russian and English said, "You can talk English..." because she did not understand where the restaurant was. I said in French, "No, I refuse" continued in French. This time I was sure it was not me... she has a chip on her shoulder, like she's telling everyone, "I am tall and beautiful and of Viking descent." She said, "Very well, in French then," to which I replied, "TAVERNA AVEDIS, PLACES DES CARMES, 9 heures... c'est le meme chose en n'importe quelle langue." Which means, "TAVERNA AVEDIS, PLACES DES CARMES, 9 o'clock... which is the same in any language." THEN I said to the old guy in RUSSIAN, "TAVERNA AVEDIS, PLACES DES CARMES, 9 chasov!" He got it and said, "Ponyatno" which means "Understood" or "I got it!" Freakin' Russian Spies.
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| George WWIII |
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| You can hear the French... |
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July 21, 2008 (Monday)
12:00 AM - Midnight, the true beginning of the day... I am looking for "Le vache a carreaux" a restaurant near me which was suggested by David and Tonilyn... merci! I have to thank them for an amazing dinner... not in the way one would expect. I did find the restaurant, but unfortunately, it was closing time. Tomorrow, perhaps... BUT the owner suggested I go around the corner to a place called "L'Epicerie" which I did. WOW! IT MY FIRST GREAT CULINARY EXPERIENCE OF THE TRIP! I ordered a filet a point with the vraie frites and roasted tomatoes and mixed veggies along with a Salade Folle (CRAZY SALAD). The Salade Folle had mixed greens and tomatoes and pepper and huge mushrooms and huge shavings of Parmesian... AND three slices of cantelope on top! DELICIEUX! AND THEN, the filet... Mon Dieu! I told the waitress, this is big even by American standards... It was SMOTHERED in spices and chives and frech herbs. Like Clayton's dry rub but so Francais! Alongside were "vraie frites" which are fried potatoes but cut in quarters instead of little thin strips. Along with that were two roasted tomatoes and some mixed vegetables. It was so amazing and FRESH. I felt like I was in an episode of Top Chef! By the way, who won Hell's Kitchen??? I forgot to mention, I have NO TV here. I have been TV free for over two weeks now! Anyway, my filet was very rare BUT so tender; I used a butter knife to cut it. This is the kind of place where I would order FISH, and those of you who know me will know, that doesn't happen often. Anyway, I savored my meal, which was served outdoors in a breezy courtyard next to a 14th century church... ahhhh, c'est la vie!
The weather is perfect for me... breezy, windy, cool but not cold. They say this is rare at this time of year. The first few days here were HOT HOT HOT but now it is amazing... a few rainspells broke the heat.
I went back to the apartment high on life and decided to write some music using my little keyboard and laptop. Maybe Shakti will dance to it someday! After a few hours of grooving, I worked on the final posters for Edinburgh. I will send them to my Scottish / Arab friends at Greenprint in Edinburgh tomorrow.
4:30 AM - Sleep
1:00 PM - WOW. THAT was darned good sleeping. Must get in gear! A quick shower and I'm off... Ooh, maybe I need to work on my poster a little....
5:00 PM - Okay, I worked a bit longer on posters than had planned... It is good though...
5:30 PM - The "Nuit des papillons" people are coming today. I hope there are others! Eric, the photographer is here tonight to take some photos for me!
There are two others here for the show... let's do it, amigos! Okay, that was a little harder than usual... I skipped a lot. There were two people from Minnesota here and I was thrown off! Really, I tried to translate a little as I went along and I was slow... it threw off my rhythm. Actually, I took too long in my search in the lobby, trying to milk it and create comedy where there was non yet. Improv lesson one... or twenty-seven, "DON'T FORCE IT!" Okay, the show was not so great BUT like I wrote to Joanna yesterday, When I said I spoke French, I didn't mean the actual language spoken by the French people, but rather the silly accent we Americans perceive the French have. I'm glad that's clear.
7:00 PM - Discussed photos with Eric... they look great! I invited Eric to dinner at Avedis for with everybody else. What a crew we will have! plus, Xavier and Maxime from "Papillons" are part Armenian! Avedis will love that!
I reminded the Old Russian guy about dinner and seemed embrrassed and said, "Mwi Yedim Domoi" (we're eating at home) and nothing else. BIZARRE!
I ran home to get changed and cleaned up for dinner. I then ran over to Avedis and made sure he had room for at least 12 or 14 of us! Then I decided to wait in Place Des carmes in case people showed up early...
While waiting I spotted at least 10 VERY french things in a half hour:
People greeting each other by kissing each the other's cheek three times
A very think girl eating an entire baguette while walking down the street
A young woman carrying a bottle of wine to a soiree
A young man on a Vespa (saying "Ciao", for the Eddie Izzard fans)
An old woman riding a WW1 bicycle
EVERYONE smoking
A young couple kissing
A man in a beret, also carrying a baguette and a bottle of wine (that should count for two, really)
Two people not caring about the implications of their actions while still being very deep and emotional... okay, I made that one up.
And the number one French thing I saw tonight was...
An entire nation allowing the Nazis to cross their border while at the same time putting up an amazing fight against them in the Resistance...
I talked a bit with Lola (she was a showgirl etc...0 Chez Avedis... the most beautiful of the maidens in the bevy at Taverna Avedis... by the way, she has stars tatooed on her neck... very chic... anyway she was laughing her head off at my flyer and me doing little bits from my show. Was she being polite? I don't know but it was nice.
9:00 PM - Well, Shakti, Jorg, Benon, Fumiko, Shakti's Mom, and Fumiko 2, joined Xavier, Maxime, Daphne and Marie and Eric, his wife and his son Sylvane for dinner at Taverna Avedis.
Xavier and I swapped stories about girls and theatre... speaking of which, his costar Marie is very very pretty... basically, she's the Girl from Ipanema but from France; "Tall and tan and young and lovely, etc..." Anyway, she and Xavier were very interested in Hollywood, which is funny to me. Maxime was interested in his guitar... kind of like a French Kurt... (yes, mon ami, you have doppelganger in Avignon!) Daphne, the administrative person from their theatre was very complimentary about my show... I did the bits I left out for them and they laughed dutifully... no, I think they were sincere... anyway, Xavier gave me a great idea. He noticed that I had a chair onstage but he was disappointed that i didn't interrgate anyone in it! I shall try that tomorrow!
Xavier did some Shakespeare in English and it was funny because, he had a very thick French accent... maybe that's how I sound as "Texas French George W"! BUT, when he does his Robert De Niro impression "You fucked my wife?" (that's the line they all know...) he sounds completely New York!
We had an amazing feast during which wine was consumed, singing occurred, stories were told, more wine was consumed... It was magnificent! Benon played with Sylvane in the shadows of these bright flood lights against an ancient wall; Shadow boxing. I did my Michael Jackson impression and moonwalked. Maxime broke out his guitar and played Duke ellington and then sang some jazzy french songs featuring major 7th and 9th chords. Magnifique! It was VERY breezy and poor Jorg borrowed my jacket. The Russians didn't show up. Freakin' Russian spies!
We all said "bon soir" and kissed and hugged good night for an hour. Then I settled up with Avedis... 300 euro? It's just my box office from last week!
This is embarrassing but after buying dinner for 14 other people, I am HUNGRY! I guess I talked too much and didn't eat. Shakti warned me that her crew could eat and they did a great job...
I grabbed a Chicken Kebab from another guy named Eric very close to my apartment. I had this great half hour conversation with these two musicians and Eric, the Kebab stand guy. They all complimented me on my french... come to think of it, many people have complimented me on my French here. They say, "Franchement, vous parlez bien francais! and say I don't sound American which is a great compliment. I have my moments... it's the vocabulary which kills me! EATING in FRENCH poses NO PROBLEMS! We talked about the music scene in New York and how cool it is to have "jam sessions" after gigs with great jazz musicians. How cool...
12:45 AM - The girls who served our big table dinner caught me with the chicken kebab in hand and laughed... AGAIN, I would have eaten it by then but I was talking to the guys at the kebab stand and not eating! Lucie, my server seemed to understand...
Worked on my posters again until 4:30 AM... came up with a great flipside for my kid's show... It is a letter from Mr Fizzywigg begging for help from the children of Edinburgh... mwuha ha ha ha!
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July 22, 2008 (Tuesday)
Saw some darned history today! old walls and stuff... wow. (photos to come!)
I emailed my posters to Edinburgh and spoke with Shaheed from Greenprint. He remembered me right away and when I said, "Ill be there next week to pick up the flyers," he responded, "Only if they let you in the country!" He should be in my show! Everything seemed okay. I am about to jump from the frying pan into the fire!
So, I finally discovered my target audience... KIDS! REALLY! I had two teenagers, an eight year old and a guy from Belgium today and it was GREAT! the kids were not afraid to laugh at the jokes and correct me right away and they actually felt smart when they understood my jokes... I guess my problem hasn't been my writing, it has been that I was writing for 14 year olds! The eight year old talked back to me the entire show and it was CUTE! Her father, Le Belge, was laughing a lot! When I said that "The French don't have a word for Savoir Faire" she jumped and said, "Oui, c'est Savoir Faire!" We all died laughing. What I find amazing was that, the parent of the two teens allowed his kids to be with ME for an hour while he looked at the Palais des Papes! I was the babysitter. Really, it was probably the most fun I have had in a LONG time!
Eric the photographer and his son, Sylvane, met me afterwards to show me the photos from yesterday... I may have to change my posters! These were good! He retouched some of the brighter ones (it's hard in the theatre lighting) so you can see details and they are great... I'll put some up here! afterwards, He suggested we get some photos in front of the Palais des Papes to indicate that I was actually in Avignon... good idea. My mom and sister will be pleased when I show then later. So off we went, Sylvane pointing out potential "terrorists' for me to search along the way. It was a little show for him. Oh, Eric brought me a bottle of wine and took great care to tell me how to drink it... ahhh, the Will Flachsbart d'Avignon!
After photos with the pope, we parted and planned to meet tomorrow at 3:30 near my place to go over some more photo choices and for me to pick up the CD of the photos I bought today. 120 euro for 6 high res photos and then the rest on a CD is not bad at all. Sylvane will be off in the mountains with his grandparents... I must send him a Border Patrol hat! If he joins the police force later in life, I take all the credit. He sure loves searching for terrorists! Eric pointed out a great Cous Cous place owned by... MEXICANS! That is funny. I go through my whole show praising Avignon for its ability to stop the illegal Mexicans from crossing the border (yes it is SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!) with its ancient wall and excellent border relations with the Mexicans... and here they are, right under my nose... I am a terrible border patrol agent!
I decided to grab a kebab at Avedis Kebab joint on the way backl to file my report and I did just that... Miam Miam. Along the way home, I ran into Salim, a guy I met at the Reggae store a few days ago and his buddy Foley... I sang the theme to "Beverly Hills Cop" and they joined in because I guess, this guy was named for Axel Foley! Salim seems deeply touched that I remember his name and that I know what it means. In Arabic, it means "Whole" or "Together" and I always liked that word when I studied the little Arabic that I have... "Maksuur" means "broken" but "Salim"... what a great name.
Now I am home, drinking Badoit and writing all this down. I am sorry I have not reported on great historical sites or French plays... there will be some of that later but, I sort of like living here like a real Avignonais...
Oh, oh... I forgot... not only have I lost weight (no the photos won't show it yet! It's just belt loops and shirts that fit now!) I have a little TAN going on! YES, Mr. White Man has a little tan. It is difficult to imagine but, I have the tan lines to prove it... around my neck, sickos!
And by the way, I am not down at all about the show... as I wrote to some family members, while the show hasn't always been great, I have really crossed over that magical mystical border from a land called "giving a shit" to a better place called "I am in France, I don't care about anything but wine, women and song... and food", also known by the UN as a country called "Not giving a shit."
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July 23, 2008 (Wednesday)
Okay, some of my friends, who shall remain nameless, Daniel Cainer, have mocked my blow by blow description of my exploits. It was my understanding that a "blog" was supposed to include mundane details such as "the brushing of teeth" and "the making of the bed" but never anything like "the audience with the Pope" or "the first meeting of a soul mate." My mistake. I shall only include important things from now on.
Okay, I lied. None of this is very important.
1:00 AM - talked to Scott, mon "chef de travail" in Los Angeles. It seems i shall be programming a bit in the next few days! Worked a lot on computer program without all the proper tools... VB6 didn't like Vista... so I am using text files to program blind.... fun!
3:00 PM - Met with Eric the photographer. He took some great shots! i bought 20 photos in all and that was about 400 euro ($600) but wort it! You can see some of the photos below.
Eric and i shared some chips and salsa at Cabanito, our local Cuban joint. Eric knows everybody here! I discovered a few things about Eric. He is a Math, Chemistry and Physics teacher who does JUDO! He speaks Spanish and his wife is Spanish and HE LOVES MOVIES. He did his Godfather impression and it was hysterical BUT the truly hysterical memory of this trip will be when he said, (David and Tonilyn, pay attention) "Impressionant. Impressionant, mais tu n'es pas encore JEDI!" AH!!!! LOL!!!! How f*ckin' funny is THAT? A STAR WARS impression in FRENCH with an Avignon accent... (an Avignon accent sounds a little Spanish, or Cuban... not REAL Spanish or Cuban, but more like Al Pacino's Tony Montoya in Scarface) Instead of saying "le main" (the hand) one says, "le maing"; instead of "bien" one says, "bieng" here in Avignon! anyway, Darth Vader in French is priceless!
4:30 - 5:15 PM Went to cyber cafe to send some posters to Edinburgh! Ahhh, more shows!
6:00 PM - Did my show for three folks today... a Belge, (I LOVE THE BELIGIANS; They laugh at EVERYTHING!) and two others... another "Eric" from Paris and a young woman who played along very well. it was fun!
Later, I went back home and did part of my show for the guys at the reggae store. They work during my show.
8:00 - 10:00 PM - talked to Scott again. Waiting for a file from him.... waiting.... waiting... hmmm. While waiting, I installed Skype and SkypeToGo... very cool. i can make international calls via my computer and my cell phone ono the cheap!
MY WATCH IS DEAD! The little logo on the face fell off and mucked up the works!
10:30 PM - went to eat at l'Hedoniste... Mussels in Garlic. I told the woman to bring me more bread because I was going swimming in the bowl... she laughed and when she brought it, she said, "Bon natation!" (Have a good swim!) let's just say, this was GARLIC HEAVEN. Eat your heart out, Gilroy! After the mussels and the bread, I thought I was done, but dessert was FORCED UPON ME! I was at "L'Hedoniste", after all! The waitress said they were out of bananas so no Banana Split... I aksed, "Vous avez encore 'Le Split'?" and she totally got it and laughed. I had a Chocolate Liegeois... which is a chocolate sundae with real whipped cream... Miam!
11:30 PM - back to the cybercafe to get that file. Called Scott using Skype... it worked! Must work now!
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| Cowboys and Indians Francais |
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BY THE WAY, that is NOT sweat on my shirt above! I spilled a bottle of water on myself while "checking for WMD" in the hotel lobby!
July 24, 2008 (Thursday)
1:00 AM - leaving the cybercafe... they are closing and Denis' father is being a little mean to his son. Denis is the teenager who helps his mom in the cyber cafe. I told Denis' father, "He's a good kid, huh?" I don't think he got the point to leave the kid alone!
Okay, the next thing is the funniest thing tha happened to me the whole trip. i called Scott from home on my cellphone but my cellphone ran out of credit and I couldn't fill it up because the system was down. i discovered this because when i talked to customer service (in india) and they said "you can simply call back in two hours!" I had an idea... would the WIFI outside my cyber work now while it was closed? the answer, yes it does.
So there i was at 2 in the morning, talking into my computer as if it were the largest cellphone ever. A car actually stopped and thought i was taling to him as he drove by! And then, while I looked ridiculous, Scott's connection to MY work computer broke. It was like the Gods did not want us to communicate! Anyway, we finally figured everything out but it was funny... Oh, I forgot, while I was talking to Scott, a woman tried to steal my backback! She was so drunk, she could hardly stand. After i hung up, she explained for twenty minutes why one must never turn their back on their posessions! AND THEN, Eric, not the photographer, but from my audience earlier that day, came strolling by. he and i talked for about 45 minutes about theatre, cities, Paris, computers (he is a computer guy) and life in Avignon.
Worked until 8 AM! I need a nap!
11:30 AM - Woke up to meet Eric, the photographer! AHHH! We met and I paid for my photos. We had a LONG lunch at the Couscouserie and talked about EVERYTHING. This guys knows food and wine! He knows how to live.
3:00 - 5:15 PM - Worked on CTI work.... I have a show to do! AHHHH!
6:00 PM - BEST SHOW EVER! AND My landlady, Mme Loret was there! Hurrah! It was truly funny... from the strip search in te lobby to the bitter end... it was fun for me! A couple from Reims was there and I have bumped into them several times since the show... it was their favorite show of the festival they told me!
Mme Loret said my French had improved greatly since my first phone call a few months ago when i am sure i told her that I was pregnant and smelled bad by accident... Anyway, I wish this had been the last one because it couldn't have gone better!
Chatted with reggae guys again. THEY LOVE the reggae!
8:00 PM - 11:15 PM - worked on CTI programming... ran into the couple from Reims who raved about my show. that was really nice because the Cyber cafe woman was impressed. Every day she asked me "How many?" as in "How many in the audience?" How cute... It was like Vern asking Matschka what her numbers were at work!
Instead of eating big, i bought some tomatoes and lettuce and oil and vinegar and made the best salad ever. i was still full from all the Cous Cous with Eric! Miam. I also bought a few slices of pepper salami and a baguette (how french!) I had a peach for dessert. I would not even include this stuff except for the fact that EVERYTHING is so FRESH!
Must work some more.... a demain! Or, as they say here, a demaing! ONE SHOW LEFT!!!!!
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Short Version...
July 25, 2008 (Friday)
Well, Not the best show ever... BUT it was the LAST show in Avignon. Only a few people were in the audience and i must have scared them into believing I was a Border Patrol Agent because when i suggested we build a mini-mall in the Palace of the Popes, two women gasped, "What a horror!" Parisians!
July 26, 2008 (Saturday)
Prepared to leave Avignon. Not much to clean... I only made a few salads in the flat. Had a BIG dinner at Shakti's and had a blast, as usual. Jorg told me that not only does he fly his science "missions" at 50,000 feet, near space, but also at 50 feet... which, if you ask my brother, Sean, is DIFFICULT. What a great bunch. Oh, Shakti makes a mean pasta sauce! What talent!
July 27, 2008 (Sunday)
Gave some souvenirs to the folks at Cybermedia and to Gad at the Reggae shop. Also gave something for Avedis and the girls. Mme Loret came to pick me up and we exchanged gifts of wine! She was stressed about her daughter and she was sad to see me go!
After an interesting discussion about life on the way to the airport, I hung out and had my third coke in as many weeks... a lot different than three a day! In the airport, waiting for my plane to Paris, I booked a hotel near the airport. Ahhh, internet!
Paris! Tour De France arrives TODAY!!!! AHHHHHHHH! What a spectacle! Okay, don't laugh, I had the best FAJITAS in Paris at a TEX MEX place... weird, I know. Garlic... yummy!
Oh yeah, Eiffel Tower... not finished yet... when the will the French get their budget in order?
July 28, 2008
Flight to London. Did funny faces with a trio of sisters on the plane... they were like 5, 7 and 9. CUTE, but tiring! What will my kid's show do to me if making funny faces was tiring?
Jason picked me up in his family van. His son, Joshua was there and he is almost four... CUTE! Was delayed in London while waiting for Jason's posters and flyers... but played with Joshua and Rachel, the one year old. They are both so smart and Wendy is a great "mum!" She is pretty funny herself and very good with the kids. Jason is pretty darned lucky!
More tomorrow! Edinburgh, coming up!
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